The school years have begun. I have tried not to get too emotional about my little cowboy going to preschool because I know in retrospect it is just 3-year-old preschool. This morning we all got ready and everyone was “emotionally stable” regarding the adventure. School does not start until 9:30a so I went ahead and went to work and Tyler took Keeler to Granny’s to work on bookwork while we waited to take him. I picked up the three of them at about 9:15a and we headed to school.
On the way, Keeler was so excited and we talked about what to expect.
When we got to school, he was excited to go and see everyone. When we walked in he put his backpack away and asked if he could show Granny the toys. Obviously us adults had discussed our game plan beforehand and we all knew that we needed to drop him off and make our exit as quickly as possible. I looked at Granny to see if she thought her looking at the toys was a good or bad idea but uh oh, her eyes were swelling up with tears. I knew that she was thinking what I was trying to avoid thinking about: how quickly our little cowboy is growing up, about how grown up he appeared in a school setting, how proud we are of him, etc… So then of course I started to tear up. I looked away because I didn’t want Keeler to see me but he was looking right up at me with fear in those huge blue eyes. I looked over to Tyler to get some strength but I could tell he was kind of getting emotional too. We all knew at that moment that we had to leave. The aid luckily walked over to Keeler and asked him to go play as we left.
The next two hours were torture for me. I went back to work and tried to concentrate and hold back the tears. However, it was hard and I had this fear that he was wailing and bawling and must be feeling abandoned. I am sure that I drove my coworkers crazy, i.e., mostly males. But they were very supportive by telling me that he was doing fine. FINALLY, Tyler and I met up to head to school. We went to the director’s office first to pay his tuition. It was music to my ears when she said that he did great! She said that he cried for a little while at first but then did very well. When we walked in to get him he was seated on the rug with his backpack and was grinning from ear to ear. He was so proud of himself. He yelled out goodbye to a few kids by name and be-bopped to the car. He told us that they learned about the cross and God. He talked about his snack time and some of the kids.
The next two hours were torture for me. I went back to work and tried to concentrate and hold back the tears. However, it was hard and I had this fear that he was wailing and bawling and must be feeling abandoned. I am sure that I drove my coworkers crazy, i.e., mostly males. But they were very supportive by telling me that he was doing fine. FINALLY, Tyler and I met up to head to school. We went to the director’s office first to pay his tuition. It was music to my ears when she said that he did great! She said that he cried for a little while at first but then did very well. When we walked in to get him he was seated on the rug with his backpack and was grinning from ear to ear. He was so proud of himself. He yelled out goodbye to a few kids by name and be-bopped to the car. He told us that they learned about the cross and God. He talked about his snack time and some of the kids.
Prior to picking him up I arranged to take the afternoon off to help him emotionally because I just knew he would be scarred, but evidently we all took it harder than he did. Oh well, I decided to stay home anyway, perhaps more for myself. We have painted and played this afternoon and now he is napping. I don’t regret taking the day off, I know my one on one time with this little cowboy is limited.
"I'll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
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